The hottest love has the coldest end. ~ Socrates. After 1 year and 7 months, the greatest love has ended. Not in a good way indeed. The former lovers are now enemies that will never be together again. We used to be madly in love. Living in our little world. Imagining future together. I cannot say who's at fault because we were separated by distance, Im in Shah Alam and he is in Malacca. Long distance relationship needs trust, commitment and honesty. Unfortunately, both of us do not have those to keep the love alive. He did not trust me and I was not being honest with him. Fight after fight, silent treatments and time offs lead to a sour relationship. He was no longer interested to be in the relationship while I was devastated with him. He gave up so easily. For me, if u love somebody so much, u'll stay in love no matter how hurt u r and how much wrong he did to u. I was willing to start over but he was not. I went to Malacca in the middle of the night just to sort things out. I could not think rationally. I just wanted to make things better for us. He didn't pleased with my presence, said that I ruined his plan going to UM. My heart was crushed. I came all the way from Shah Alam to Malacca to save our relationship, but my effort was not appreciated. I've done everything, I tried to mend my mistakes but he said its too late. He ran out of patience. He said he couldn't lie to himself anymore. He no longer utter the word Love because he thought we were going too fast. After 1 year and 7 months? Those hurtful words that came from him made me bitter and revengeful. Not once in my life, I said I fed up with you. It never crossed my mind. Its normal for couple to fight a lot but I never see it coming from you. You used to be the sweetest guy that I fell in love 2 years ago. I desire for love and attention, not harsh words and burst of angers from u. I know I was only an option, I was not a priority in your life. Falling in love with u is awfully simple, but falling out of love with u is simply awful. I seek attention and love from an old flame, who is more than willing to give them to me. U caught me red handed. I know I was wrong. But did u ever think why I did it at the first place? Because u never pay enough attention to me, ur too occupied with your practicuum and ur too ego to admit ur mistakes. I am a student too. A MBA student. But I can still bring my assignments to Malacca and finish my work on time. I didn't mind staying at home as long as Im with you. I lower my standard for you but my action made things worst. Its like feeding your ego. I know u still read my blog and I hope u'll read this. Take care, hope you'll find your perfect soulmate who loves you more than I used to.Thanks for the 1 year and 7 months memories. Halalkan makan minum I. Goodbye.
4 comments:
just let all those things go..u'll find someone that madly in love with u and appreciate every single little things u do..someday aite..u'll feel very comfortable with him and act the way u r without any embarrassment with all those stupid things u do when u find that man..yup he'll be there somewhere for u..just cross ur finger k darl..
Dear Nurina
Yes, some things you said are true.
In a committed relationship, you stay against the onslaught of pain, against the screams from your pride, against the demands of self-worth. You set aside many things to make the love you have chosen raise back to its feet and walk.
Committed relationships.
And for that, you need something bigger than just yourselves. Like something ordianed. Like...marriage...God.
Non-committed relationships allow for escape clauses. It's difficult to shut the door to the world outside if you already have the backdoor open.
It is not the distance. It is not how fast or how slow. It is the decision you make, to love, to stay no matter what, forsaking all others. It is important to recognise that; while being in love is a feeling that waxes and wanes, love itself is a decision.
I will not say that long distance relationships are easy. They are not. You hunger for the person, you pine, you seek that face in the hushed hours of the night. But the bonds are forged again each time you meet. Again, it's the decisions you make, the options you elect to exercise. You choose a love of absence, you choose the attendant hardships that come with it, but you stay all the same.
What I am saying, Nurina, is, that all the extraneous faults are mere convenience.
The undertaking is yours.
As much as is the choice to terminate and seek that which yields a harvest for the labour you expend in sowing and tending and weeding.
I'd like to share here the lyrics to Transfer. Take strength. Your shoulders are not too narrow for this plough you pull.
"Bought a ticket
Destination Nowhere
I am going
Then he smiled
It'd been awhile
He said
Goodbye bye bye bye love
She worked at the Transfer station
No last words or consolations
Why, I never lied
She cried
Goodbye bye bye bye love
He then took her off
He checked his line
The years went by
He found himself best he could find
Then a letter
Posted nowhere
Regards I've arrived
Am doing fine
I missed you mine
Come save my life
My love, my life
She then put him on
She checked her line
She took her time
And on her heart she relied
Bought a ticket
Destination Nowhere
I am going
Then she smiled
It'd been awhile
That smile
Goodbye bye bye bye love
Train pulls into nowhere
There he stands
A field of flowers
For his hands
My love he cries
I missed you mine
Come save my life
She says don't cry
Was only time
Moves in a line
And then she smiled
And said besides
I'm just passing by
Bye bye bye bye love
Bye bye bye bye love
Bye bye bye bye love
Goodbye"
What we had before had gone to the drain, he said. Im moving on, no use of holding on to someone who doesnt want to be hold to anymore. Its time to forget all the past and erased him from my memory. he's now a stranger to me.
be strong, babe. a guy who's worth it will make you his number 1 priority, above all else. he's out there, somewhere, good luck :) plus, it is true that there are ALWAYS better guys. It's just the matter of what you prefer and who you pick.
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