Sunday, December 29, 2013

My Transition and The New Beginning.

Wow, it has been a year since my last post. There are so many good and bad things happened in a year but I am happy with the way things are now, Alhamdulillah.. All praises to Allah! He is indeed the best PLANNER :)

I was a bit reluctant to tell the story of my transition but I wish my story can be an inspiration to people, Insyallah.

Bismillah...

In January 2013, I was at the lowest bottom of my life.. 5 years of relationship ended with no closure.  I was devastated and crying for months. I was drowning in my own negative thoughts and blaming myself for the break up. I used to wonder why I had my heart broken so many times and what can I do to mend my broken heart. Sleepless nights continues but eventually, Allah made me realized that it was caused by the hearts that I had broken before and the sins that I had committed all these years

I began to accept the fact that everything happens for a reason and only Allah knows it. I understand that Allah has a better plan for me and maybe we are not meant to be after all.

I poured my heart out to Allah and was very ashamed with the things that I have done in the past. I forgotten about HIM during my happy days but now asking for HIS forgiveness when I hit the rock bottom.

I started to wear hijab in somewhere around Feb or March and Alhamdulillah, I felt so peaceful and serene. I prayed and prayed that I can meet someone that can make me want to be a better person. In May, my prayer was finally answered and God has sent me this wonderful man who uses "When" instead of "If" when talking about his future and how I fit in his plans. 

We only met 3 times before he came to see my parents and asked for their permission to bring me to see his family. 3 months after the meeting, his family came "merisik" and we will be engaged in one month time. I have full trust in Allah and if he is my door to Jannah, I accept it with an open heart. 

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.. :)